Policeman vs. Fireman

Good shite for a Friday:

Race Categories:

(From the newest member of the PureJenius.net staff (who, by the way, is paid >well< into the 2 figures))

So I've been perusing the MCF board tonight and I still can't believe how many guys are whining about the races and race categories that promoters choose for races. I'm pretty good at whining too, so here goes: I'm a 35+ Cat 3 woman who will show up for the St. Cloud Crit and have to toe the line with Cat 1/2 guys - I don't give a shit that they're 50+, their license still says Cat 1 or 2 (and 3/4/5) and they race like Cat 1/2s. What's that you say, it's a ROY race, so we'll be scored separately? Okay cool, then I'll completely overlook the fact that the race will blow apart on about lap 1.5 and I'll spend the remainder of the race with 3 or 4 other women if I'm lucky or I'll assume the time trial position and ride around in circles by myself. Should be fun. Oh, I should shut my trap because if I think the 50+ guys are too fast and furious, I should just race with the Master's 35+ 3/4's because those guys get their own race? Okay, I didn't want to race with my teammates anyway, so I'll do that race instead - those guys will probably be tired anyway, because some of them can do 4 different races that day. Plus, they have kids and jobs, so they don't get to train much. I only have a job, and no kids to tire me out, so I should be able to hang with them.

Then, to follow-up with what is sure to be a brilliant performance in St. Cloud, I will fill my car with $4/gallon gas, blow off my family and friends for the tenth year in a row, and head to Northfield for the July 4th holiday so that I can spend $25 to race for 35 minutes in the Women's Open race. Yep, that's right...5 minutes longer than the Juniors 15+ race and 10 minutes shorter than the Master's 30+ 4/5's.

I know, I know, I should be happy that promoters are putting on races, and that they're having separate Women's Cat 4 races (especially since I've been preaching about MWCMR for 3 years now)...so don't get me wrong, I am happy that these races exist. In fact, St. Cloud and Northfield are two of my favorites and I'll be there racing both of them. And I've promoted races, so I don't want anyone bitching to me about how if I don't like it I should promote my own race. Been there, done that, I understand there's only so much time in one day, and I understand that certain ages/categories of racers bring in more money, and blah, blah, blah. My point is this - all these guys whining about wanting a race specifically aimed at their age/category combo have very little to whine about. So to all those guys whining, I say try showing up to a local race with breasts and a Cat 3 license and then tell me what you have to bitch about as a 37-yr old Cat 3 guy who works full time.

Oh, and here's a little brain teaser - there are 8 races at St. Cloud and 9 races at Northfield. I have an idea - let's pretend that everyone would be happy just racing their category, and I'll even still suggest grouping the Cat 1/2/3 women and Cat 1/2 men so that people aren't whining about those races being too small - here's what the schedule could look like - 7 total races:

Juniors
Women 4
Women 1/2/3
Men 5
Men 4
Men 3
Men 1/2

And as an added bonus, each of the races could be just a little bit longer, oh, the insanity! Man, I must be off my 35+ rocker to suggest something so crazy!! Must be the estrogen, or maybe the lack of sleep from my 50+ hr work week getting to me. Yeah, that's right Mr. 37+ guy, I said it - you only get to do one race, and you have to race with guys who have approximately your same level of fitness and you may just have to race a little longer than you're used to. And then when you turn 38 or the big 4-0 and/or you have another kid, and you can't train as much, might I suggest a downgrade? Gasp!! Did she just suggest I downgrade! Oh no she didn't!! Bitch doesn't know what she's talking about or who she's talking to. Doesn't she know how good I was back in the day?

Come on people, thank the promoters, thank the officials, thank your friends and family for letting you blow them off to train and race, and if you still want something to whine about, come see me and we'll eat some cheese and compare notes.

This week's Jenius:

USACycling.

u23 and elite road race championships are on the same day. Well done.

Dear Cat 6,

You guys did an extraordinary job putting on the St. Fair Affair. You took boring Tuesday night races and made them super fun. You should be proud of your efforts and I'm sure next year will be just as fun.

What I liked:
- On-line reg and using the same number each week...roll up, sign, roll away. Super slick.
- performance enhancing cookies at registration.
- Trophies that resembled carbon fiber forks. very cool.

What I didn't like:
- not being able to piss or throw my trash where ever I wanted. super lame.

I love you,
Pete

p.s: Dear Pellis, I hope you have fun riding with Grandstay.

How to get your coworker's attention:

Crank this up, then clear your desk in one sweeping motion.



I'm thinking about doing it. Let me know how it goes.

PELLIS!

your better watch your back tonight.

Pullleeeezeee....

First and absorbed twin for Tyler, now someone slipped Boonen a mickey. Take it like a man Tommy boy.